Beyond Time-Out: From Chaos to Calm, Beth A Grosshans, PhD

Beyond Time-Out: From Chaos to Calm, Beth A Grosshans, PhD

ISBN: 9781402777646

Re-read August 20

 

Interesting to contrast this one with the two I just read - Siegel & Bryson's The Whole-Brain Child, and Susan Stiffelman's Parenting Without Power Struggles.  I like this one better than both of those because it's more realistic - there's an understanding here that your precious little power-mad tyke isn't going to be real appreciative of your attempts to make them behave (which technically Stiffleman also does), AND you get real actual advice on what to do about it (which Stiffelman doesn't). 

 

Now, I don't know that I totally agree with the advice Grosshans gives, but it seems interesting, and worth looking into.  I haven't seen anyone else suggest restraint holds with a tantrumming child (unless said child also has delays or autism or another reason for applying said restraint) so I'm really curious about that part. 

 

However, I'm hopeful that if someone starts off with this method of calm escalation of consequenses, perhaps that will minimize instances of totally out of control behavior.

 

What's really interesting here is how this book conflicts with the info in Whole-Brain Child about how kids get emotionally flooded and whether to discipline them or empathize with them.  Are we going to use this as a teachable moment to build self-control and social skills, or are we going to use this as a teachable moment to help them become more attuned to their emotions and mental state?  I hate that it seems to be an either-or approach.  I do see hints of the empathetic approach with Beyond Time-Out, but it doesn't nearly rise to the level of "the Wall of Futility" approach that those authors suggest.  Frankly, I tend to like Grosshan's ideas better, but I don't like dealing with emotional stuff and tears and negativity, and I also believe children should be well-behaved and obedient, so I'll be looking into that aspect a bit further.