Saturday, August 17, 2013

Parenting Without Power Struggles, Susan Stiffelman

Parenting Without Power Struggles, Susan Stiffelman (M.FT).  ISBN: 9781451667660
Read August 15, 2013
Nonfiction: parenting.
 
This was an excellent read.  Very clear, and very specific instructions on WHAT to do (and also what not to do, although I like that she focuses on the positive - no "don't think about pink elephants" here, which was very nice) and WHY it is that it's good to do.  She's also amazingly clear that these interactions are challenging to do, hard to keep up, and really difficult to get right in real life, with real children.  I admire that approach.  I also like that her example texts don't have children who magically become compliant and happy as soon as the magic words are used, which is a fault in a lot of the parenting technique books I've encountered. 
 
I do have some quibbles - I could have used a lot more of the information in Chapters 1-8 and 10, and a little less in the others.   I especially feel like she shortchanged the reader on the contents of Chapter 10 dealing with depression and anxiety.  If/when I have kids, I know that the best way to help them is to have my own depression and anxiety under control so I feel geninely happy around my kid.  I also know that given the way my brain works, there's no way in hell that's actually going to happen.  So a little real-life advice on how to counteract that would have been lovely.  Same with the Act 1/Act 2 advice.  That was very hastily done, and not as clear as it could perhaps have been.  I'm also not as fond of mindmaps and assigning emotions to colors and whatnot, so all of the slightly "woo" bits did ruffle my feathers a bit, but there wasn't much of it - I'm just super-sensitive to that sort of thing.
 
Overall, well-organized, well-explained, and well-done.  I'm actually going to buy a copy for myself and my husband, and I have only done that with two other parenting/child-development books so far.  Good company!  (The others are Beth Grosshan's Beyond Time Out, and Paul Tough's How Children Succeed.) 

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