Okay, confession time. We get LOTS of really old books as donations at the library, particularly paperbacks. And (being totally serious here) it's really quite sad. Because once a paperback gets to a certain age, those cheap pulpy mass-produced pages are brown and fragile and brittle - we can't use them in the library, even if we wanted to. Libraries try to be sensitive, and we do what we can based on our local rules and regulations; pass them on to charities, sell them off, or at worst, send them off to be recycled. Once upon a time, a box of particularly ancient paperbacks had a Barbara Cartland romance in it with a VERY disturbing name, and I was totally hooked. I'm not going to admit which one, but it was enlightening (and yes, disturbing), to say the least. So when a recent batch of donations had another ancient, brittle, foxed paperback with Cartland's name on it and another disturbing title, I just had to read it.
Vote for Love
Barbara Cartland
1977 (bantam paperbacks)
ISBN: 0553103415 (?)
Read May 26, 2016
Oh man. Ok. We're solidly in King Edward's reign, while his lovely deaf wife Alexandra nods and smiles at people and he hooks up with Alice Keppel every chance he gets. So solid Victorian mores here: cheat all you want, but don't dare cause a scandal. Also, in the lead up to war, the suffragettes are getting nasty; planting bombs and causing disturbances and refusing to be bailed out of jail and going on hunger strikes and getting force-fed, all of which is causing untold scandal to their well-bred and better-behaved family members. Raybourn is our man here, and he's a solicitor. He's single, and been hooking up with various married women for a while now, but his last fling is a stormy, emotional, jealous type. Our girl is Viola, and she's being terrorized by her evil stepmother (I wish I were kidding) after her father's death to participate in the suffragette movement because her name will cause people to think that her departed father had sympathies for the movement (he did not).
I will pause here and say that the ENTIRE novel treats the suffragettes as either frigid man-hating battle-axes or silly socialites who are throwing silly tantrums on a lark because they're bored with tea-parties and want people to notice them.
Poor Viola gets thrown into Raybourn's arms (quite literally) when her stepmother has her plant a bomb in his apartment, and he comes in while she's hoping to become a suicide bomber. (Reading this now with ISIS and the heated political situation here and the shootings and bomb threats at Planned Parenthood was uncomfortable, to say the least.) Raybourn begins his successful campaign of rescuing this delicate flower (yes, I get that her name is Viola, that it sounds like Violet, that violets are shy and delicate and retiring and need protection oh my god seriously give it up.) from various social inequities and unpleasantness. They get engaged as a sham to keep each other safe; her from a lecherous old Earl, and him from the jealous mistress (her husband died, and now she's on the prowl), but there are a few more rough waves to crest before making it to smooth sailing as husband and wife.
Highlights:
Viola speaks... in... ellipses... when she's... around Raybourn... because she's usually.... so.... so frightened... and overwhelmed. HELP ME.
(This one is a serious one) Raybourn spends an awful lot of time ruminating on the inequities of Society; that men should be allowed mistresses pretty much whenever, but women had to wait until after they were comfortably wed and bred (heir and a spare first) before they could acceptably engage in assignations. That sort of observation, while trenchant, doesn't really mesh well with whatever else we see of his personality. (Granted we only get 150 pages of story, so we're dealing with limited characterization anyway.)
Best Line Ever: At the end of the book, Raybourn finally reassures timid little Viola that his love is true, and he reassures her of his continued protection: "and when we are wed, I won't allow you to vote for anything but love."
Showing posts with label Random Romance Reads. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random Romance Reads. Show all posts
Saturday, May 28, 2016
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Random Romance Reads: The Switch, Lynsay Sands
I'm including this one with the RRR, even though the underlying difficulties all stem from "period" miscues rather than anything else.
The Switch
Lynsay Sands
ISBN: 9780062019820 (reprint)
Read October 24, 2014
The short, mostly spoiler-free version: A set twin girls, countrified members of the ton, have their bucolic peaceful lives disrupted by the deaths of their parents. Their uncle, the new guardian falls peril to gambling and bad investments, and his idea is to sell the winsome girls in marriage to rich elites, thus preventing his financial ruin. One sister is to a gentleman who is simply repugnant, but the other is meant for one who has been through three wives in the last few years, and rumor runs rampant about their "accidental" deaths. En route to the marriage mart, they stop at an inn, and the girls escape, with one sister dressed as a boy to evade suspicion and to assuage propriety. They are immediately noticed and taken under the wing of a kindly noble, who passes them off as cousins while they have their season in London, taking turns pretending to be the sister or the brother as they set their caps for different men. Blackmail and the dissolute uncle provide the villainy, and Gretna Green is abused beyond all reason in tying up the leads in holy matrimony.
The good:
Crossdressing!
Interesting premise with twins and gender-bending where each twin takes a turn being male.
The put-upon hero is vastly overwhelmed, and I felt sorry for him and his confusion the whole book.
The bad:
Crossdressing mechanics and historical fashion and clothing in general not matching up with the time-period intended (although God only knows what that period was, as I couldn't work it out beyond somewhere possibly very "early regency").
Paper-thin characters for nearly everyone, especially the men.
Overstepping the bounds of propriety and allowed behavior in some places, while calling attention to them and carefully attending to them at others. If the whole story had simply pretended the mores did not exist, I would have taken it as a silly story set in an imaginary or simplified "regency-land" and gone on with the story. Calling attention to the proper modes of behavior simply made me wince at all the gross violations (sartorial and social) that went unremarked.
The Verdict:
Silly but with world-building flaws that are grievous given that it claims to be set in the real world, in a time and place which was scrupulously recorded at all levels of society. If the "flaws" were, as I suspect. used to forward the plot or build moments for the characters, then I'm even more grumpy, because that's just sloppy plotting, and totally unnecessary and slapdash.
The Switch
Lynsay Sands
ISBN: 9780062019820 (reprint)
Read October 24, 2014
The short, mostly spoiler-free version: A set twin girls, countrified members of the ton, have their bucolic peaceful lives disrupted by the deaths of their parents. Their uncle, the new guardian falls peril to gambling and bad investments, and his idea is to sell the winsome girls in marriage to rich elites, thus preventing his financial ruin. One sister is to a gentleman who is simply repugnant, but the other is meant for one who has been through three wives in the last few years, and rumor runs rampant about their "accidental" deaths. En route to the marriage mart, they stop at an inn, and the girls escape, with one sister dressed as a boy to evade suspicion and to assuage propriety. They are immediately noticed and taken under the wing of a kindly noble, who passes them off as cousins while they have their season in London, taking turns pretending to be the sister or the brother as they set their caps for different men. Blackmail and the dissolute uncle provide the villainy, and Gretna Green is abused beyond all reason in tying up the leads in holy matrimony.
The good:
Crossdressing!
Interesting premise with twins and gender-bending where each twin takes a turn being male.
The put-upon hero is vastly overwhelmed, and I felt sorry for him and his confusion the whole book.
The bad:
Crossdressing mechanics and historical fashion and clothing in general not matching up with the time-period intended (although God only knows what that period was, as I couldn't work it out beyond somewhere possibly very "early regency").
Paper-thin characters for nearly everyone, especially the men.
Overstepping the bounds of propriety and allowed behavior in some places, while calling attention to them and carefully attending to them at others. If the whole story had simply pretended the mores did not exist, I would have taken it as a silly story set in an imaginary or simplified "regency-land" and gone on with the story. Calling attention to the proper modes of behavior simply made me wince at all the gross violations (sartorial and social) that went unremarked.
The Verdict:
Silly but with world-building flaws that are grievous given that it claims to be set in the real world, in a time and place which was scrupulously recorded at all levels of society. If the "flaws" were, as I suspect. used to forward the plot or build moments for the characters, then I'm even more grumpy, because that's just sloppy plotting, and totally unnecessary and slapdash.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Random Romance Read: Sins of a Wicked Duke, Sophie Jordan
Sins of a Wicked Duke
Sophie Jordan
ISBN: 9780061579172
Read Sept 22, 2014
Short version: Erk. Non-consensual crap all over the place here.
Snarky Summary: An obvious prologue sets up at least a trio of novels about three dissimilar young girls who meet in a brutal boarding school as children. This story focuses on Fallon. She's Irish, she's an orphan (her father died on a trip overseas to collect garden plants for a noble), she's tall and strong and has wild red-gold hair. Due to her height, beauty, and her hair, she keeps getting molested by the sons and husbands of her employers when she's trying to work as a maid, and in rejecting their advances, gets sacked. After meeting a notorious noble rake, she hatches a plot to work as a manservant instead, chops off her hair, and goes for it.
Dominic (obviously the "Demon Duke" has to be named Dominic) and I'm confused about his ducal nature as his grandfather is a pastor in a small country town? Anyway - actual peerage aside, he's spent his life working hard to be unfeeling and careless and wicked because his grandfather (the aforementioned pastor) was too hard on him when he was a young child.
Fallon ends up as Dom's valet, much non-consensual intimacy happens - and this is really irritating, because the whole POINT of her working in disguise as a man was that she was trying to avoid this crap, and the hero spends the whole time pawing at her because he can't help himself, and besides, she likes it, so it's all ok and he's not doing anything wrong because he's just passionate. God in heaven. Give me a freaking break.
Anyway. Plot contrivances related to her father's untimely death lead Fallon to a lonely life in a cottage in the small town where the grandfather is the pastor. She becomes a sort of nursemaid to him (despite the fact that everyone in Society has to know that she was Dom's valet while dressed as a boy, because all the servants knew), the wayward Duke returns when the grandfather is on his deathbed (and don't even get me started on how the whole death and funeral bits were just ignored) and yay now they are married (erm, what?) and have a daughter!
I like the idea of heroines in male drag, I like "rags to riches" stories, and I would have liked this if there had been any attention given to the process of passing, to the actual historic situation of servantry and the Ton, and if the hero hadn't been totally rapey.
Sophie Jordan
ISBN: 9780061579172
Read Sept 22, 2014
Short version: Erk. Non-consensual crap all over the place here.
Snarky Summary: An obvious prologue sets up at least a trio of novels about three dissimilar young girls who meet in a brutal boarding school as children. This story focuses on Fallon. She's Irish, she's an orphan (her father died on a trip overseas to collect garden plants for a noble), she's tall and strong and has wild red-gold hair. Due to her height, beauty, and her hair, she keeps getting molested by the sons and husbands of her employers when she's trying to work as a maid, and in rejecting their advances, gets sacked. After meeting a notorious noble rake, she hatches a plot to work as a manservant instead, chops off her hair, and goes for it.
Dominic (obviously the "Demon Duke" has to be named Dominic) and I'm confused about his ducal nature as his grandfather is a pastor in a small country town? Anyway - actual peerage aside, he's spent his life working hard to be unfeeling and careless and wicked because his grandfather (the aforementioned pastor) was too hard on him when he was a young child.
Fallon ends up as Dom's valet, much non-consensual intimacy happens - and this is really irritating, because the whole POINT of her working in disguise as a man was that she was trying to avoid this crap, and the hero spends the whole time pawing at her because he can't help himself, and besides, she likes it, so it's all ok and he's not doing anything wrong because he's just passionate. God in heaven. Give me a freaking break.
Anyway. Plot contrivances related to her father's untimely death lead Fallon to a lonely life in a cottage in the small town where the grandfather is the pastor. She becomes a sort of nursemaid to him (despite the fact that everyone in Society has to know that she was Dom's valet while dressed as a boy, because all the servants knew), the wayward Duke returns when the grandfather is on his deathbed (and don't even get me started on how the whole death and funeral bits were just ignored) and yay now they are married (erm, what?) and have a daughter!
I like the idea of heroines in male drag, I like "rags to riches" stories, and I would have liked this if there had been any attention given to the process of passing, to the actual historic situation of servantry and the Ton, and if the hero hadn't been totally rapey.
Monday, May 19, 2014
Random Romance Reads: The Pirate Prince, Connie Mason
The Pirate Prince
Connie Mason
ISBN: 0843952342
Read May 18, 2014
As an aside, I was out shopping at a used bookstore and found a whole slew of romance novels in a bin out front labeled "Free" and I couldn't resist.
The bad: this is one of those really squicky romance novels where the girl says "no," means "no," doesn't consent at any point, and actively tries to resist, and the "hero" rapes her anyway, but it really isn't rape actually because it felt good/he wasn't using his penis/she's still technically a virgin/and really if she hadn't been raised to be frigid and hung-up about morality and sexuality, she would have said yes, and she ended up falling in love with him anyway, and he really loved her after all so it's all ok in the end!
I HATE that. It really raises my hackles. If it were presented as a tactic of the bad guys, that's one thing. But to have it be the accepted "seduction technique" of the character we're supposed to empathize with and lust after? It's disgusting and wrong, and it's a terrible example to set. Any writer ought to be ashamed of themselves for not being able to do better than that.
The story:
The hero is an Ottoman Turk named Dariq who turned pirate when his older brother assumed the throne and began his rule by killing everyone else who might challenge him for it. Dariq's mother (an English lady) saved his life that long-ago night, and he'll do anything to save her, especially after his brother threatens to kill her if Dariq doesn't return to be killed like a good responsible younger brother.
The heroine is named Willow (she's an English lady) and Willow's part in all this is that en-route to see her mother in France, her ship was captured by pirates, and she was sold into slavery and eventually bought to grace Dariq's brother's (you know, the Ottoman Empire's Sultan) harem. Except that Dariq knows that a certain ship is carrying a "treasure" his brother wants, so he steals it. Er, her.
Then comes the squicky rape parts, after which they fall in love, complications arise due to said love, and also to jealous concubines, and also to both of them having more hormones than braincells.
Willow's faith in her parents' rescue is well-placed, and Dariq also finds a formidible ally in his English mother, leading to a slight twist at the end that I didn't expect.
If you value your history, please expect a goodly portion of poetic license - if "Willow" didn't offer enough of a clue.
Connie Mason
ISBN: 0843952342
Read May 18, 2014
As an aside, I was out shopping at a used bookstore and found a whole slew of romance novels in a bin out front labeled "Free" and I couldn't resist.
The bad: this is one of those really squicky romance novels where the girl says "no," means "no," doesn't consent at any point, and actively tries to resist, and the "hero" rapes her anyway, but it really isn't rape actually because it felt good/he wasn't using his penis/she's still technically a virgin/and really if she hadn't been raised to be frigid and hung-up about morality and sexuality, she would have said yes, and she ended up falling in love with him anyway, and he really loved her after all so it's all ok in the end!
I HATE that. It really raises my hackles. If it were presented as a tactic of the bad guys, that's one thing. But to have it be the accepted "seduction technique" of the character we're supposed to empathize with and lust after? It's disgusting and wrong, and it's a terrible example to set. Any writer ought to be ashamed of themselves for not being able to do better than that.
The story:
The hero is an Ottoman Turk named Dariq who turned pirate when his older brother assumed the throne and began his rule by killing everyone else who might challenge him for it. Dariq's mother (an English lady) saved his life that long-ago night, and he'll do anything to save her, especially after his brother threatens to kill her if Dariq doesn't return to be killed like a good responsible younger brother.
The heroine is named Willow (she's an English lady) and Willow's part in all this is that en-route to see her mother in France, her ship was captured by pirates, and she was sold into slavery and eventually bought to grace Dariq's brother's (you know, the Ottoman Empire's Sultan) harem. Except that Dariq knows that a certain ship is carrying a "treasure" his brother wants, so he steals it. Er, her.
Then comes the squicky rape parts, after which they fall in love, complications arise due to said love, and also to jealous concubines, and also to both of them having more hormones than braincells.
Willow's faith in her parents' rescue is well-placed, and Dariq also finds a formidible ally in his English mother, leading to a slight twist at the end that I didn't expect.
If you value your history, please expect a goodly portion of poetic license - if "Willow" didn't offer enough of a clue.
Random Romance Reads: The Viking, Bobbi Smith
The Viking
Bobbi Smith
ISBN: 9781420108804
(Previously Published as "Passion")
Read May 16, 2014
Set in a really loose historical time with Vikings vs Saxons. Occasional editing and proofreading flubs, some characterization wiffles, but nothing really awful. Very formulaic.
Dynna is a Saxon widow being forced by her father-in-law to marry her late husband's brother. He's evil, natch.
Brage is a fearless Viking warrior, with an older and a younger half-brother who follow his lead on a stream of successful raids. His "battle name" is the Black Hawk, due to his Irish mother's heritage giving him odd black hair.
As a prelude, there is a stock old fortune-teller who casts runes to predict Brage's success, and a shadowy figure who betrays the Viking's plans for a raid into Saxon territory.
Dynna and her maid attempt an escape in peasant's clothing, and are intercepted by the beginnings of the Viking raid. With the info from the traitor, Dynna's evil intended easily mops the floor with them, captures the Viking, and re-catches Dynna as well.
Dynna is a healer, and is needed to make sure that Brage is well enough to ransom back to his father. She plots to use him as muscle to get her across country to her father's estate to escape her impending forced marriage. Brage just wants to not be imprisoned by the Saxons.
They fall in love along the trip (along with copious amounts of sex in the countryside) and get her safely to her parents, where evil wanna-be husband instantly attacks and recaptures them both, confining Dynna to her parent's estate, and bringing Brage back to be ransomed to his father (and incidentally also for all the Vikings to be killed by ambush).
After the requisite Viking victory, there's the equally requisite grave misunderstanding between the lovers, and Dynna is taken back to Viking lands as a slave, rather than as Brage's intended.
Once "home" in Viking-land, the traitor is revealed, Dynna makes a final loving sacrifice by taking a blade meant for Brage, and everything works out in the end.
There is a minor sub-plot where Dynna's maid and Brage's half-brother also fall in love.
Bobbi Smith
ISBN: 9781420108804
(Previously Published as "Passion")
Read May 16, 2014
Set in a really loose historical time with Vikings vs Saxons. Occasional editing and proofreading flubs, some characterization wiffles, but nothing really awful. Very formulaic.
Dynna is a Saxon widow being forced by her father-in-law to marry her late husband's brother. He's evil, natch.
Brage is a fearless Viking warrior, with an older and a younger half-brother who follow his lead on a stream of successful raids. His "battle name" is the Black Hawk, due to his Irish mother's heritage giving him odd black hair.
As a prelude, there is a stock old fortune-teller who casts runes to predict Brage's success, and a shadowy figure who betrays the Viking's plans for a raid into Saxon territory.
Dynna and her maid attempt an escape in peasant's clothing, and are intercepted by the beginnings of the Viking raid. With the info from the traitor, Dynna's evil intended easily mops the floor with them, captures the Viking, and re-catches Dynna as well.
Dynna is a healer, and is needed to make sure that Brage is well enough to ransom back to his father. She plots to use him as muscle to get her across country to her father's estate to escape her impending forced marriage. Brage just wants to not be imprisoned by the Saxons.
They fall in love along the trip (along with copious amounts of sex in the countryside) and get her safely to her parents, where evil wanna-be husband instantly attacks and recaptures them both, confining Dynna to her parent's estate, and bringing Brage back to be ransomed to his father (and incidentally also for all the Vikings to be killed by ambush).
After the requisite Viking victory, there's the equally requisite grave misunderstanding between the lovers, and Dynna is taken back to Viking lands as a slave, rather than as Brage's intended.
Once "home" in Viking-land, the traitor is revealed, Dynna makes a final loving sacrifice by taking a blade meant for Brage, and everything works out in the end.
There is a minor sub-plot where Dynna's maid and Brage's half-brother also fall in love.
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Introducing "Random Romance Reads" posts
I don't read romance novels.
Now, don't take that to mean that I never pick them up and read them - I do. But some people pick up and read romance novels for their own sake, the way I read sci-fi and fantasy books. I read them more for amusement, or because I feel like I need to keep my oar in for professional development (sounds very noble, but really it just means I can justify having some silly fluffy stuff as my homework instead of another boring journal).
I'm also trying to log everything that I read, just for the heck of it.
And that makes a conundrum. I read these things for the laughs, and purposefully select the ones that I think I'll find amusing. That makes it really mean-spirited to actually review them, because I'm not reading them like their intended audience.
So for these, I'm going to make a couple of comments, attempt to restrain any snark, and give a brief plot description.
I'm not going to be concerned about spoilers, so reader beware.
Now, don't take that to mean that I never pick them up and read them - I do. But some people pick up and read romance novels for their own sake, the way I read sci-fi and fantasy books. I read them more for amusement, or because I feel like I need to keep my oar in for professional development (sounds very noble, but really it just means I can justify having some silly fluffy stuff as my homework instead of another boring journal).
I'm also trying to log everything that I read, just for the heck of it.
And that makes a conundrum. I read these things for the laughs, and purposefully select the ones that I think I'll find amusing. That makes it really mean-spirited to actually review them, because I'm not reading them like their intended audience.
So for these, I'm going to make a couple of comments, attempt to restrain any snark, and give a brief plot description.
I'm not going to be concerned about spoilers, so reader beware.
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