Nonfiction: Works Well With Others, Ross McCammon

Works Well With Others
Ross McCammon
ISBN: 9780525955023
Read January 30, 2016
A professional etiquette guide disguised as a funny memoir, or perhaps the other way around?

McCammon sticks with the short form here, in snappy little short chapters that are practically magazine articles themselves.  In fact, many of his features or interviews in Esquire are longer than these little chaplets, most of them value-added with self-mocking questionnaires and snarky personality evaluation brackets.

His beautifully self-aware and self-deprecating tone is perfect for giving advice, and he gives it good.  Not one to get bogged down in lists (at least not serious ones; tongue-in-cheek ones abound) or prescriptive categories of DOs or DON'Ts (although, again, you'll find them scattered mockingly throughout) he simply offers tales of his own experiences during his first year at Esquire, and draws important fundamental self-representational guidelines from the stories.

Be honest (but not on Twitter, unless you are a lifestyle brand).
Be curious.
Be genuine.
Be passionate (but not too passionate because that weirds people out).
First days on the job and first meetings with recruiters are always awkward, for everyone involved.  Don't waste mental/emotional energy stewing in the miserable memories.
Put your best foot (dressed as best as you feel capable of, for your own benefit) forward.
Dn't be afraid of making mistakes.

I especially liked his brutal takedown of "Failure Culture" where he eviscerates the idea that "failure is positive" and that you should "embrace/seek/crave failure."  What they really mean, he argues persuasively, is that "mistakes" are to be embraced and learned from.  Actual failures are miserable, abject, humiliating, and basically serve as giant red psychic flags to NEVER DO THAT AGAIN.

A fun short read, and a nice change from the usual order of self-help books out there, which are either relentlessly psychoanalytical or brutally prescriptive.  He basically spends the book saying: here's where I screwed this up, and this is why, but it goes much better if you do this instead, or occasionally (not as often, because bragging doesn't fit the tone as well) here's where I did this thing really right, and you can too!      

Memoir: Witches of America, Alex Mar

Witches of America

Alex Mar

ISBN: 9780374291372

Read January 6, 2016

Hoooo boy is this one causing controversy.

I'm not religious, nor am I religiously affiliated, but I have a perpetual curiosity about wicca and witchcraft that would probably be considered religious interest - if I weren't an incurable skeptic.

This book (out right before Halloween, natch) is right up my alley - this "journalist" is religiously-raised, over-intellectual, self-critical, endlessly obsessed with appearance (at least I'm a makeup artist and costumer, so I have an excuse), skeptical but emotionally and spiritually passionate, heir to lots of christian guilt and mental baggage, afraid of sensation and of being "in the moment," and yet simultaneously intensely curious and covetous of having overwhelming (spiritual?) experiences.  Her work on a video documentary of American mystical spiritual paths led her to realize that this particular sub-culture/counter-culture of practicing wiccans, pagans, druids and others would make an excellent subject for a book.  (Also I think she ended up with a sort of lifestyle crush on Morpheus, who appears from all accounts to have an amazingly magnetic personality.)

Using her contacts from the documentary film, Mar slowly becomes a part of the pagan community, always reminding people that she's writing a book.  She half-heartedly tries the anthro approach for a little bit, but that's just not her style, and she manages to convince herself (and, importantly, the community she's joining) at regular points along the way that despite the book, she really is personally interested in discovering if there really is anything to this world of spells and chanting and invoking goddesses and gods.   So she "goes native."

Now the book is out, and in it she explores only three traditions in any depth (eclectic Wiccans are immediately passed on because they're "too eclectic" - well, what did you expect? and Dianic Wiccans are just too seriously 2nd wave stridently feminist and woman-worshipping for someone with Mar's obsession with good/bad female forms and social appropriateness, and she never even thinks about Druidry as far as I can tell).  The trio ends up as Andersonian Feri (specifically the BlackHeart strain), Pagan rockstar Morpheus Ravenna's (at the time of Mar's research) growing Coru Priesthood, and New Orleans' developing O.T.O. temple.  

Oddly enough, none of these are really what I would think of as "traditional" American witchcraft or wicca practices, but what the hell ever - those are the connections Mar ended up with, so that's what she's investigating.  What is really interesting is that post publication, the Coru, and Morpheus by extension, rescinded their prior approval for Mar's book (with some harsh words about intent not matching actions), and Mar's Feri teacher has also expressed a sense of betrayal at her own portrayal.  The O.T.O. hasn't said anything, but I would be shocked if they felt it necessary.  In addition, Mar's less than entirely glowing portrayal of two major pagan events seems to have personally pissed off just about every witch in the entire country.  Balancing this outrage from the pagan community is a series of glowing recommendations from the mainstream press, and lots of positive acknowledgement from other powerhouse literary figures.

So what gives?  First off, the main issue I see from the Pagans is that Mar violated consent by recording (or transcribing from memory) quite a few personal conversations without explicit permission, and by writing about ecstatic rituals and shared sacred spaces in the first place, but secondly for writing about them in a very intellectual, somewhat sardonic, detached journalistic record-keeping manner.  As a note (spoilers?) Mar did not end up continuing her Feri practice, and she is currently carefully vague about her present involvement with the O.T.O, - this might help explain why so many in the community felt personally betrayed or violated by the portrayals of events and people (or of themselves) found in the book.  There are several smaller ritual events depicted, and Mar's sense of alienation and shaky self-image makes these events a bit warped in the recounting.  I don't get the impression that Mar TRIES to be hurtful or to exaggerate, but her personality (which she is constantly referencing and using as a narrative scaffolding) makes that nearly impossible to achieve.  Many of her comments ARE hurtful, or they read as uncomfortably exploitative or overdramatized.

Some things I wonder after reading: 

Was she faking her spiritual journey the whole time? (I truly don't THINK so, but then I see a lot of myself in her personality, and I very much understand that nearly impossible-to-shake desire to quantify and intellectualize experiences, and to second-guess and quarterback the "validity" of my involvement in communities.  Other reviewers who were actually there, or who knew her, do question whether she was actually ever a true "seeker.")

Was she perhaps a "spiritual tourist" and only interested in spirituality as long as it was easy and didn't require self-abnegation or hard emotional work, thus betraying the community through her dilettantism?  (Does that actually matter?)

Are the conversations and events revealed in the book consensually obtained?  (This last question becomes really interesting when considered in light of an interesting chapter about "Jonathan" the corpse-stealing necromancer.  Mar gets very philosophical here, and also in a subsequent disturbingly adoring chapter about Morpheus and her desire for her corpse to be left for the carrion birds) about the concepts of consent and of intent, and of magical purpose, and of violating people's autonomy and free will.  Perhaps a spate of guilt - a textual attempt to claim: at least I'm not as bad as this guy is?) 

Was any ritual secret or magical information disclosed that she either promised or implied that she would hold secret?  (Mar appears to have a very sincere belief that ONLY the very specific "secrets" of initiations (one from Blackheart Feri, and one from O.T.O. - both involving the names of gods) are off limits, and cheerfully (perhaps even licentiously?) reveals all sorts of other lurid details (again in a self-deprecating and intellectually-reserved way, distancing herself from the events even as she participates in them), shoving the curtains wide open about the specific and sometimes explicit activities that comprise circles, rituals, and initiations.  This attitude (and to be frank, the writing style) also seems to account for much of the vitriol from the community, and one hopes that either Mar's oaths were truly that literally specific, or that there truly is no magic for these very angry and betrayed people to invoke against her.)

Overall, a really interesting book about one flawed person's lurching journey along the borderlines of spiritual awakenings in a marginalized and deeply distrustful private community, made even more interesting by what the fallout reveals about that community, and about Mar's methodology in researching and in obtaining full and active consent from the people she interacted with.  One senses that her naively optimistic comment in the acknowledgements about an essay updating readers on her contacts' continuing lives is going to be a haunting memory, and one I predict will vanish from any re-printed editions.  

  

2015 Review Round-Up: Juvenile Illustrated Fiction: The Story of Diva and Flea, Mo Willems & Tony DiTerlizzi

The Story of Diva and Flea
Mo Willems (Pigeon, Elephant and Piggie), illustrated by Tony DiTerlizzi (Spiderwick, Changeling)
ISBN: 9781484722848
Quirky illustrations and an almost Lemony-Snicketish narrative voice make this friendship story sing.

This is the most adorable book I've read all year and it's absolutely perfect.  Diva is a VERY small dog who lives with the caretaker of a set of Paris flats, and she's petrified of feet, but otherwise very brave and very clever.  She is pampered and spoilt and happy.  Flea is a lanky angular black cat, famous as a neighborhood flaneur (professional wanderer).  When Flea happens upon Diva's set of flats, a beautiful friendship develops as both these spectacular personalities learn new and exciting things from their very different friend.

Did I mention that this book is PERFECT?  It is.  It is beautiful and perfect and special and it is why the universe was created, and why books were invented.  Just for this story.  Go find it and see if I'm wrong.  I dare you.

2015 Review Round-Up: Nonfiction: Furiously Happy, Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess)

Furiously Happy
Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess)
ISBN: 9781250077004
Lawson's trademark insanity-deprecations; part memoir, part celebration of humanity's weirdness.
Read September 22, 2015

If you ever feel like you're just a little too weird, or perhaps that you are odd in some way that other people just wouldn't quite understand, just pick this up and then come hang out with us on twitter and the blogosphere.  You'll find that the Tribe is overflowing and delighted to welcome you in with questionable taxidermy and oddly specificly morbid Google queries.

Biography: You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost), by Felicia Day

You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) 
Felicia Day
ISBN: 9781476785653
Read August 10, 2015

Missed the hold-til notice on this one, and got it at the library a day early.  Whoops!

Felicia is one of the pillars of the geek community.  She's clever, self-deprecating, snarky, funny, and deeply honest, even about herself and her failings.  All of this makes for a great memoir.

I especially enjoyed reading about her upbringing, which matched my own in a lot of ways.  She perfectly describes the strangeness of college and socialization after being isolated and having to fly solo for so long as a child.  I also was touched by her honesty about her depression and her self-medicating with WoW while trying to "make it" as a hollywood actress.  Her blunt honesty about her unfortunate choices also sadly resonated with me.  It's easy to get caught up in doing something that feels good, even after it doesn't feel good any longer, because it's better than the fear of everything else.

I was glad that the memoir ended on a relatively high point, and wish her all the success (and more importantly, all the happiness) in the world.

On Writing, Stephen King

On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft
Stephen King
ISBN: 0684853523
Read December 15, 2013

Nonfiction: personal and professional memoir of author Stephen King.

I have had this book on my To-Read list forever it seems, and finally decided to pick it up.  I don't know that I feel the same way about plot (he doesn't like the idea of plotting) and I'm not sure that I'm right there with him on "excavating" existing story ideas, like revealing the David hidden inside the marble.  However, those two little personal approaches aside, he has presented an excellent and compulsively readable treatise.

He's also presented a fairly intimate portrait of himself, and I was a bit shocked at the forthright nature of his confessions of drug and alcohol abuse.  Him including a biography of sorts wasn't necessary to the theme, and I thought it was very brave and open of him to do so, in the hopes that background information would help to make the advice ring more true.

When I put a book to the side for a long time, especially if it's one that I have expectations about, I'm often disappointed when I finally get round to it.  This time, I wasn't let down in the least, and instead, I'm heading into the holidays with a more determined attitude towards my own creative outlets and my commitments to them.

A Street Cat Named Bob, James Bowen

A Street Cat Named Bob, James Bowen.
ISBN: 978-1250029461

Read November 13, 2013.

 

Nonfiction: Cat-lover and drug-recovery memoir.

 

A sweet, slight story about how Bob the cat adopted Mr Bowen and helped him make the transition from drug-addled street-bum to productive and responsible cat person.  The narrative voice was engaging, yet blunt about his own shortcomings, as well as those of others he encounters.  Bonus for ending BEFORE the cat dies, and for Mr Bowen's straighforwardness about the difficulties of getting his life back on track without becoming maudlin or bitter. 

 

I would have enjoyed seeing snapshots of Bob or the duo working their beat.