Nonfiction: Works Well With Others, Ross McCammon

Works Well With Others
Ross McCammon
ISBN: 9780525955023
Read January 30, 2016
A professional etiquette guide disguised as a funny memoir, or perhaps the other way around?

McCammon sticks with the short form here, in snappy little short chapters that are practically magazine articles themselves.  In fact, many of his features or interviews in Esquire are longer than these little chaplets, most of them value-added with self-mocking questionnaires and snarky personality evaluation brackets.

His beautifully self-aware and self-deprecating tone is perfect for giving advice, and he gives it good.  Not one to get bogged down in lists (at least not serious ones; tongue-in-cheek ones abound) or prescriptive categories of DOs or DON'Ts (although, again, you'll find them scattered mockingly throughout) he simply offers tales of his own experiences during his first year at Esquire, and draws important fundamental self-representational guidelines from the stories.

Be honest (but not on Twitter, unless you are a lifestyle brand).
Be curious.
Be genuine.
Be passionate (but not too passionate because that weirds people out).
First days on the job and first meetings with recruiters are always awkward, for everyone involved.  Don't waste mental/emotional energy stewing in the miserable memories.
Put your best foot (dressed as best as you feel capable of, for your own benefit) forward.
Dn't be afraid of making mistakes.

I especially liked his brutal takedown of "Failure Culture" where he eviscerates the idea that "failure is positive" and that you should "embrace/seek/crave failure."  What they really mean, he argues persuasively, is that "mistakes" are to be embraced and learned from.  Actual failures are miserable, abject, humiliating, and basically serve as giant red psychic flags to NEVER DO THAT AGAIN.

A fun short read, and a nice change from the usual order of self-help books out there, which are either relentlessly psychoanalytical or brutally prescriptive.  He basically spends the book saying: here's where I screwed this up, and this is why, but it goes much better if you do this instead, or occasionally (not as often, because bragging doesn't fit the tone as well) here's where I did this thing really right, and you can too!      

Miss Manners Minds Your Business, Judith Martin & Nicholas Ivor Martin

First book of the New Year belongs to Miss Manners!

Miss Manners Minds Your Business
Judith Martin & Nicholas Ivor Martin
ISBN: 9780393081367
Read January 2, 2014

I've long thought that Miss Manners is getting more pert and saucy as she goes along, and this book was a major confirmation of my theory.  Here, she deals with the trials and tribulations of the modern workforce, with cubicles, outdated sexist/classist "old boys" codes, and social networking snafus with wit and no small attitude of "Really?  You brought this on yourself, you know, Gentle Reader.  It's your own damn fault, but I'll do my best to help you out.  Just this once."

She pulls no punches in skewering the nasty sides of work (really not a fan of office parties and Secret Santas) and of highlighting misplaced social attitudes (gossip circles and personal TMI revelations are both sternly rebuked) of the workers.  She affirms the rights of workers to abstain from office friendships (which she considers an oxymoron) and to defend themselves from harmful or co-dependent requests from supervisors or coworkers that would have any therapist shaking their heads if originating from a loved one.

Most of all, this pointed and perfect advice is given in her trademarked (at least I hope it is) witty repartee and true knack for a devastating, yet totally innocent comment.

To avoid spoiling any of her excellent advice regarding workplaces, I'll excerpt a smidge from her introduction to the frailties of workplace friendships:

"Not all friends are friends.  Unless the boyfriend and the girlfriend provide more than friendliness, they are known as "just friends" or even "former friends."  But particular friends and special friends may have to be seated separately at dinner if they are to be able to follow the thread of the conversation without being distracted by what is going on under the table.  This is not true of anyone characterized as "an elderly friend," a phrase sometimes used as code to mean that he lost the thread of the conversation long ago.  And if you ever find yourself addressed as "my young friend," run for cover." 

A perfect way to start off the New Year.

Previously Published Review: Would It Kill You To Stop Doing That, Henry Alford

First off, the main downside to this book: Not enough time spent with my own two preferred manners mavens, Tim Gunn and Miss Manners. I found the sections spent interviewing them to be quite fun, but sadly short - similar to attending a dinner advertising a "sumptuous mousse dessert" and then you get your serving: a tiny teaspoon. Tastes good, but you were expecting a good bit more of it.

As to the book itself - short, sharp-tongued, and occasionally scathing. There is some language towards the end (he is a NYC greeter, and likes to shock his overseas visitors by taking them by the booth selling "effing" shirts.) There is also a bit of a better than thou tone throughout, but strangely enough, it humanizes rather than irritates. The section on his "retaliatory manners" especially hit me square in my own often passive-aggressive tendencies, and made like him all the more because of our shared failings.

Overall, nothing earth-shattering, and most certainly not exhaustive or even complete, but a very enjoyable short and sassy addition to the voices of those calling out for a continuation and furtherance of modern manners.